aiyanas_world

Still ill but feeling better today 😊

Still ill but feeling better today 😊

I am still ill. But I wanted to briefly let you know that I'..

I am still ill. But I wanted to briefly let you know that I'm mentally well again and I'm just really happy that my master has further developed our relationship 🥰

My Master told me earlier this evening that in the future, h..

My Master told me earlier this evening that in the future, he will occasionally read my messages. I spent the last 2.5 hours crying a lot 😢 It helped that he had me recite my mantra beforehand, so I was in a good mindset, but it was still hard 😩

For me, it's always incredibly difficult when we deepen the power dynamic. It’s totally paradoxical because it's something I want, but I still initially react with fear and a vague sense of being overwhelmed when I give up more control. Usually, this feeling subsides quickly, and I feel comfortable in the new situation 🥰 but those first moments are always very emotional 😩 In the past, I would react by wanting to run away (ending the relationship) and throwing tantrums. I have to say that it's not a real "I don't want this relationship anymore" feeling but my very destructive way of dealing with emotionally overwhelming situations.

Today, I managed not to throw a tantrum or feel the impulse to run away. I’m so proud of that, it's such a big development 😊 Instead, I called @yourhandler  and let my emotions out while talking to him. I'm so glad that he's such a good friend. Afterward, my Master called to check on me (I'm so thankful that he cares so much about me and how I feel 🥰). He also sent me to my cage and locked my phone (I really hate it when he does that.) Today was especially challenging because I had to deal with my emotions without being able to communicate them to anyone, express them creatively, or distract myself. It was so tough. But I made it, and when I felt like I couldn’t bear it anymore, I called my Master, and he explained in detail again why he wants this and why it’s irrelevant whether I want it or not 🥰 After the call, I felt better, and he unlocked my phone and took the time to chat with me about why this is so hard for me.

It’s not at all about whether my Master will do anything with the information he gets from reading my messages (I trust him enough to know he won’t) or about wanting to hide anything from him. It’s purely about my moral values. I don’t think it’s right for him to read private messages without the people knowing in advance and being able to decide if they want to share things with me under those circumstances. This means that from now on, I’ll have to inform everyone about the nature of my relationship if I think they’re going to share things in our chats that they wouldn’t want anyone else to know. I'm not really in the mood for these conversations, but it'll be fine 😊

I’m feeling better now: The intense emotions have subsided, and I’m going to distract myself with a few episodes of anime and then try to sleep 😊

Why do I even share this with you?

Because I want to provide realistic insights into what BDSM, especially as a lifestyle, can look like. For me, that includes showing that not everything is always easy or works out immediately. It's not always sunshine and rainbows; sometimes it’s hard, and I have to fight with myself for what we (my Master and I) want to achieve.

What I don’t want when I share things like this is pity. That would be completely out of place. Pain, including emotional pain, is part of life, and I have consciously chosen a relationship where pain, suffering, and growing from it are part of the experience. And every day, I choose this relationship again. So far, I have never regretted it. My life has been filled with a lot of happiness, joy, and gratitude since I placed it in my Master's hands. So everything is fine 😉

Wish you all a good night 💜

Unfortunately, I’m still sick, so I’m doing a lot less than ..

Unfortunately, I’m still sick, so I’m doing a lot less than usual, which is really affecting me mentally 😞 My Master just assigned me to kneel for 15 minutes and recite my mantra 🥰 Reciting my mantra helps me maintain a positive mindset, stay in touch with my submissive side, and feel connected to my Master even over a distance🥰🥰🥰

I filmed it for him and uploaded an edited version without sound for you 😉 I don’t (yet?) feel ready to share the mantra that openly 😅

Still ill 😩 but wearing my belt like a good girl 😉 Hope your..

Still ill 😩 but wearing my belt like a good girl 😉
Hope your weekend is better than mine 😅💜

Last time I was at @yourhandler 's Home, I also tidied up th..

Last time I was at @yourhandler 's Home, I also tidied up the kitchen a bit 🔗⛓️🔒🥰

When you're supposed to be on a photo shoot and instead you'..

When you're supposed to be on a photo shoot and instead you're chilling in your cage with a fever...

My Master sent me to the gym today so I could mentally and e..

My Master sent me to the gym today so I could mentally and emotionally switch off for a bit. It was my first time back after my accident, and after 10 minutes on the stepper, I was completely exhausted 😅🙈 It’s so frustrating how much progress I’ve lost 😔 I really hope I can catch up soon... Afterwards, I went to the sauna, which was really nice and helped me recharge a bit 😊 I need to start working out regularly again and take better care of my body overall. I’ve been neglecting that lately, and I’m glad my Master reminded me that it’s my responsibility to take good care of my body...

I moved from my cage to the bed. Still super tired and don’t..

I moved from my cage to the bed. Still super tired and don’t feel like getting up 😅

I got back home last night and I’m feeling pretty exhausted...

I got back home last night and I’m feeling pretty exhausted. Right now, I’m lying on the couch, trying to relax a bit. Last week was extremely tough and emotionally draining, which is why I haven't posted much. There were frequent small disagreements, and we had a lot of discussions. It was necessary and worked out well, and I believe the week brought us all closer together and helped us move forward. But it was emotionally exhausting.

So, I’ve taken it easy today: catching up on household chores, taking care of my pets, doing some crafting, and watching series. A quiet day, really. Tomorrow will be another calm day, and then I have video shoots planned for Wednesday and Thursday.

There’s nothing exciting to report at the moment. We're all ..

There’s nothing exciting to report at the moment. We're all working a lot and cuddling together in front of the TV in the evenings. Just everyday life 😅
Agoria and I have managed to hit our 24-hour daily handcuff time together so far 💪😊
Today, I pulled some weeds from the driveway and now I'm doing a bit of computer work...

Yesterday was relatively uneventful. We all worked on differ..

Yesterday was relatively uneventful. We all worked on different things, and @agorianeosteel and I shared the household chores—it was pretty much normal everyday life 🤷‍♀️
In the evening I hadn't followed an instruction of my master immediately. As a consequence, after my Master had used me, he chained me up on the floor in Agoria's room instead of letting me sleep in his bed. Being used and then "put away" right after triggers some very unpleasant old feelings for me. So, I cried a lot during the night, slept very little and restlessly, and woke up with a headache 😢
But now I'm feeling much better 😊 and hopefully, next time I'll follow instructions immediately instead of questioning them 😅

Last night, my Master also started a game with both of us: Agoria and I have to wear handcuffs together for a total of 24 hours each day 🔗🔒So last night, we both slept in handcuffs, and today we each wore them for a few hours while doing household chores and working 🥰

I'll be spending the entire week living with my master and m..

I'll be spending the entire week living with my master and my slavesister and sharing daily life together. I'm really excited to see how it will be 😊 My slave sister allowed me to sleep in her room on the nights when I'm not in bed with my Master 🥰
So he just chained me to her bed so I can't run away and can sleep well 🥰 Wishing you all a good night 💜

Still lying in my cage and don't feel like getting up 😅🙈 How..

Still lying in my cage and don't feel like getting up 😅🙈
How is your morning?

Behind the scenes pictures of today's shooting 😉 had an amaz..

Behind the scenes pictures of today's shooting 😉 had an amazing shooting which gave me the whole summer feeling ⛱️🌞🥰

I'm having such a good day so far. I woke up in my cage this..

I'm having such a good day so far. I woke up in my cage this morning with the thought of how grateful I am that my master takes such good care of me. This feeling of gratitude and contentment has stayed with me throughout the entire morning, and it's just wonderful 🥰
Plus, today is the first truly quiet day I've had in what feels like forever, and it was really nice to start the day relaxed with a cup of chai latte 😊
How are you doing?

My master has just put my cat basket on the balcony, put leg..

My master has just put my cat basket on the balcony, put leg cuffs on me and locked the door. Looks like I'll be sleeping outside tonight. It's a very strange mixture of emotions right now. On the one hand, I'm looking forward to sleeping outside because I haven't slept outside for a long time and it's so wonderfully stormy here at the moment 😍🥰 On the other hand, it's always really hard for me to sleep so far away from my master. I can't wait to see how the night turns out...
He just came back and put some handcuffs on me and turned off the lights.

My master is visiting me at the moment and since he wants to..

My master is visiting me at the moment and since he wants to have some peace and quiet, he locked me in my cage and gave me the order to tease me a little with my toy 🥵 of course I'm not allowed to cum 😅

Sunday I spent the whole morning and morning as a pony 🐎 and..

Sunday I spent the whole morning and morning as a pony 🐎 and @yourhandler filmed a bit of our training. We trained outside in the forest, which was pretty exhausting in the current temperatures 🥵 It was the first time I'd been in the role for so long in a row and unfortunately I kept getting out of the pet space, but I quickly found my way back in again. And I'm really looking forward to the next time 🥰
We were back home in the early afternoon and after we had both showered, Handler made dinner for us and I edited videos. After lunch, we shot another customer video. We actually wanted to spend the rest of the day with latex doll play. However, the suit broke while I was getting dressed 😢
Instead, we went out for a fancy dinner in the evening and later watched a movie. Afterwards I was tied up and cleaning his kitchen (at least the beginning of it).

Report to the last weekend: Saturday On Saturday, I fixed b..

Report to the last weekend: Saturday

On Saturday, I fixed breakfast while Handler packed for his fire show🔥 Then we drove to the event and I assisted him with his two shows. When we got back home, we shot a client video 😏 and then I had a pretty cool session as a living punching bag🥊 I had a lot of fun and I'm really looking forward to doing it again 😍
Afterwards, he made dinner (he's a really good cook 🤤) and I uploaded the cat video to Instagram during that time.
After dinner we had another pretty awesome session with hogtie bondage, inflatable gag, remote-controlled toy under my belt and milk pumps 🥵🪢🍆
And afterwards I fell asleep in my cage immediately 😂

(feel free to DM me, if you want to buy one of these videos 😉)

Report to the last weekend: I've decided to split this repor..

Report to the last weekend: I've decided to split this report over several days. So today it's Thursday and Friday 😉

Short disclaimer: @yourhandler is a friend of mine. We play together frequently and he is the owner of my pet personas. However, we have no power imbalance in our interactions outside of these games.

I arrived at Handler's house late Thursday night 🚄 We ate dinner and then he locked me in the cage under his bed where I sleeping all weekend. Again, not because he owns me, but because I'm so used to sleeping locked up that I just sleep better in a cage.
On Friday, he had to work half the day and I got ready for the day as a cat 😺, ate something and then chilled for a while as a cat in his super cozy dog basket 😻 When he came back from work, we made a cat video for IG and cuddled a bit. Then we went to Krämer (a horse store) and bought some things for our pony play 🐴 On the way there we ate something.
When we got back home, we tried unsuccessfully to put up a new St. Andrew's cross (it's too high for his playroom) and then had our first pretty nice session. With ch0king, wh!pping and kn!fe-playing 🥵 We filmed it (I already posted a snippet of this session a few days ago) and it will probably become two clips that are too hard for here 😏
Afterwards, he made dinner for us while I posted screenshots from the session. Afterwards we ate together, watched a movie and cuddled 😊

Would you like to read a report on my weekend at @yourhandle..

Would you like to read a report on my weekend at @yourhandler ?

Last evening we did something that I had wanted to do for a ..

Last evening we did something that I had wanted to do for a long time: @yourhandler used me as a punching bag 😍

Another day full of playtime with @yourhandler 🥰

Another day full of playtime with @yourhandler 🥰

I had a pretty cool spanking session tonight with @yourhandl..

I had a pretty cool spanking session tonight with @yourhandler 😍

Lying in this super comfy dog bed, waiting for @yourhandler ..

Lying in this super comfy dog bed, waiting for @yourhandler to come home 😊

Finally arrived at @yourhandler 's house and ready for sleep..

Finally arrived at @yourhandler 's house and ready for sleep 😴 wish you all a good night 💜

In the meantime, I got up and cleaned myself and the cage. M..

In the meantime, I got up and cleaned myself and the cage. My master then instructed me to kneel on my bottle cap board and reflect on the fact that he could have left me in the cage for the rest of the day.

My Master set a new rule yesterday that I must be locked up ..

My Master set a new rule yesterday that I must be locked up in my cage for at least 9 hours each night and be up by 8 a.m. This means I should be in the cage by 11 p.m. at the latest. Last night, I asked to stay up an extra half hour, and he agreed on the condition that I set the kitchen safe for 10 hours instead of 9. I agreed and sent him a photo of the kitchen safe once I was in the cage. That was at 11:35 p.m. He then ordered me to add 10 minutes to the kitchen safe for every minute I was late. So, I ended up being locked in for a total of 10 hours and 50 minutes (the kitchen safe is still locked). Sometime this morning, I had to go to the toilet so urgently that I couldn't hold it anymore, and now I'm lying in the wet, hoping the cage will open soon. It's extremely disgusting, but I'm also very happy to feel how helplessly I am at my Master's mercy. Not sure what I should feel 😅🙈

I had a really nice session with my master on August 1st as ..

I had a really nice session with my master on August 1st as a kickoff for my birthday. He put my Neosteel ankle cuffs on me and clipped them together so I couldn't move my feet apart ⛓️Then, he attached the ankle cuffs to a chain on the waist band of my chastity belt, making me keep my legs bent. He then placed me on my knees and handcuffed my hands above my head to my pole dance pole 🔗 The restraint was extremely painful and uncomfortable because all the cuffs were very tight and pressed with every movement. I really struggled to endure them. Then, he took my spiked paddle and hit me with it all over. I love the pain from it and got extremely turned on 🥵 He also indulged my knife fetish 😉 Being so helplessly at his mercy made me incredibly hot, and knowing he wouldn't let me out of the chastity belt made the situation even hotter 😏 It was a really nice start to my birthday 🥰

In the pictures and videos, you can see the marks from the spike paddle 😉