Streaming hot video I took at the strip club this weekend AN..

Streaming hot video I took at the strip club this weekend ANNNNND; “I Am A Dumbass” blog entry pt 1: • I will freely admit that I made a very brutal mistake at the club while I was faded last night. In my defense I was lit af & I’m not even sure what I was trying to gain in the situation. But I descend back into negative (or easy) patterns when I’m not in my right state of mind. • First, let me give you the back story of this situation so you can understand my head space. Me & a DJ at my work at the bar here in town & I stuck up a pretty close friendship around the time COVID reared it’s ugly head last year & put us all in the service industries out of work for months. We had been friends that enjoyed talking on the phone but we had never really hung out several years back, but then he & I had a falling out due to us both being pretty stubborn. It was a work related thing. • After that, I realized that this person wasn’t a “good person”. He put me in a really bad position back then & wouldn’t listen to reason & this conflict continued for a few months. Well, in like 2017 we developed a flirtation. I think this was actually after our fall out. We’d stay after work, listen to dope old school r&b & sometimes we’d make out. But that’s as far as it went. Even though sometimes I’d be so damn wasted that I would get naked & walk around the club like that, like it was nothing, he never tried anything inappropriate with me. I liked that. I like a man who realizes that someone is 3 sheets to the wind & they should not embark on a sexual tryst with them in that state. It made me trust him. • Fast forward again to quarantine time last year & we began chatting again. Via text & on the phone. Then we started going out to bars/restaurants a few times. Mind you this was less than 5x in all of 2020. But we had a fun few nights going out. Mostly our friendship consisted of him coming over to drink at my house & watch music videos. That’s my favorite thing to do when I’m drinking, btw. I just love watching certain music videos & feeling my vibe when I’m faded. • So I took a lot of time off from work after contracting COVID. I went back to work the week we opened & got it within 5 days. It had to be from there most likely, as we weren’t really wearing masks when we first opened. The owner would post things about people being sheep & COVID being a hoax. So you can probably imagine where he stood on the mask thing, at first. • After getting sick I pretty much went insane. I was stuck in the house for 5 weeks because my salon job wouldn’t let me come back to work until I produced a negative test & I kept testing positive week after week. To this man’s defense, he listened to me on the phone freaking out about having COVID for hours at a damn time. Then he would pull his car up out front & talk to me while I stood at my door. So it was a safe distance. • This really helped me out during a super dark & frustrating time. I was without a way to wean a living yet again & I was got severely depressed. When I finally went back to work, this dude would sometimes come over after work & drink with me… And watch music videos. It was nice having a friend who also worked late on weekends & could hang out until the sun came up. • But I had no idea what the hell was going on “behind the scenes”. I dance probably only a few times a month when my schedule allows & I often go out of town to dance so I’m not always at that particular club. Apparently he was trying to sell our relationship to his co-workers & to a certain person as me “thirsting after him”. He said I’d been “on his dick” for years trying to rope him in. • Now I will freely admit that we made out a few times in 2017. And it was legit. And when I say make out I literally mean just kiss. No fondling if the sex organs or even getting them out aside from that one time I got so tipsy I was running around the club naked. And there was one time more recently that I made out with him at my house. I was dealing with a death of a friend, he was listening to me cry about it & we had a moment. • But he was telling people stuff like I was BeGgInG him to lay in my bed or other weird shit. Saying I BeGgEd him to take me out or pay for my food or whatever when we went out. He did pay for my dinner a few times when we hung out, but I also paid for his before too. It was a legitimately platonic friendship. But he tried to make it out like I was after him. 😂 • When this girl, who used to be a close friend of mine, told me all of this, I was furious!!! I was so hurt because I opened up to him. I am so standoffish with people. I know it seems like I’m an open book online, but in real life I am very private & reluctant to let people know the real me. I’m like thus because I have been burned *SO MANY* times by people who I thought were my friends. So it legit hurt me so deep that he was trying to look cool & tell people I was obsessed with him. • He told her that if I had it my way, he’d be at my house all the time. Lol but HE would get mad at ME for not being readily available to answer his texts all the damn time. Like, bro I have a million jobs AND go to school. And he was not my man. He needed to chill. Also he told her that I would show up at his other place of business regularly & just “hang around”. I had only been to that place twice because he demanded we’d m33t there before going out to eat together or whatever. • What I gathered from this info, was that he blew our relationship out of proportion to show off. Like look at this hot shit girl who just “won’t leave me alone”. “She wants me sooooo bad.” Etc… I honestly think he was kinda put off by the fact that I wasn’t like that with him. I did not want a sexual relationship with him & I never really tried anything like that with him in the last year besides the time I was boohoo crying & making out with him for a second to try to feel better. Which was not cool of me to do. • So ALL THESE PEOPLE at my place of business had all these wrong ideas about me. Oh, one time he BEGGED me to come hang out with him at work, & I hated going to work with him because I didn’t want people to get the wrong idea about us. Cause people in that place are nosey af. He said he’d buy me drinks all night so I was like… Okay as long as you let me schedule my Onlyfans posts for the week while I’m there. • I tried to get an Uber but none were available. He said he’d pick me up right quick cause I was close by. Well he told everyone I BEGGED HIM to come hang out that night, wouldn’t take no for an answer & made him come & get me. WTFFFF. • And another thing he was doing was telling this stuff to my former friend on purpose to make her jealous because she & he have a thing going on. Like she def has a man & family at home but this is her side piece at work or whatever. Which, no judgement from me on that because her dude at home sucks & I’ve begged her to leave him for years. But him saying all this shit was causing our friendship to fall apart. And that’s just a mean thing to do to two friends. • He would tell her things like I’m not her real friend & I talked shit about her behind her back & he would tell me the same things about her. Now I know this girl do be gossiping, but I didn’t believe him when he would say that she’d be gossiping to HIM about me. She might gossip to other people about me but I don’t she would tell him anything knowing that he & I had whatever kind of relationship she thought we had because of his lies. • I’ve distanced myself from both of these people in the last few months because I just don’t have space in my life for drama. And honestly he truly hurt my feelings making all that weird shit up about me. And she hurt my feelings for believing it & not just coming to me directly & asking me. • When we did finally talk I did lie to her about making out with him that one time after finding out my friend had passed. I didn’t feel it was relevant considering he & I’s current super platonic status. He tried to tell her that he & so “messed around” recently & I denied it. First of all, I don’t consider kissing someone to be messing around sexually. He also lied & said I got naked at my house recently & was tryna grind up on him. And like I said before that only happened one time in 2017. • I do feel bad about lying but honestly I was trying to spare her feelings, even though TELL ME WHYYYY she has anything to say about me making out with him once after not doing so for several years when she has a WHOLE MAN & FAMILY at home??? But I digress… I do put hoes before bros. Her friendship was & honestly still is important to me. However, we are not currently talking… • Come back tomorrow for part 2!!! 😉